I entered my sixth week of pregnancy with panic. I’d been spotting on and off since Tuesday, but when I got in touch with my doctor’s office, they said not to worry unless it was a lot of blood or accompanied by cramping.
I never had any cramping at all, though I did have bouts of nausea and my boobs feel really sore these days. I’d check every time I’d go to the bathroom, which of course is a lot, and there’d be a bit of brown. It’d frustrate me that there was still some spotting, but I’d reassure myself that everything was ok because of the color.
I went about my days without worrying about it too much. I got some major projects done at work. I got the house organized. I worked with Fusilli. And on Saturday, I graduated from the School of Public Health, and Claudia threw a great party for me. Crawfish boil with lots of people stopping by throughout the day. It was a long day, but it was an exhausting day.
Sunday, I spent the morning cleaning up after the party. There were chairs and tables to rearrange. The back yard needed some straightening out. Dishes to wash inside. It wasn’t hard work, but it was work. Graham had come back late the night before, and only Fusilli helped me with my various tasks.
Later, after Graham woke up and I got dressed, we got ready to go out for some lunch. It was a beautiful day, and I was hoping for something on a patio for lunch. Right before we left, I went to the bathroom, and this time it wasn’t brown. It was pink.
I panicked. There wasn’t much, and it was very diluted. My cervix was still high, and there wasn’t much blood. But it was different and new and it scared me. Graham turned white when I showed him. We still went out, but I was so distracted that I couldn’t make a decision about where to eat, so we came home. Graham found something to carry away instead.
I spent a few hours researching, and since I didn’t feel any cramps and the blood wasn’t copious, it seemed like we didn’t have much to worry about. I calmed down, and by the time other family members came over, the panic was a distant memory.
Today, there has been no blood at all. Not even the brown stuff from before. I think it was just one of those things, and I’m not so terrified. And, it turns out I’ve lost about four pounds in the last few weeks. I think it’s due to the healthy foods I’m eating now that I’m worried about the little one.
Mama and I went to lunch, and we chatted about some baby stuff, but other stuff too. I’m glad that I’m back to feeling more calm and serene about it, but I suspect that mini-panics will come more frequently from now on.
My first appointment is in two weeks. I’m so looking forward to it.