Tag Archives: love and sex

Peed on a stick

So since July, Graham and I have been trying to get pregnant.  We’d been sort of trying before July, but we weren’t all that organized about it.  I’d gone off the pill, and we’d have sex, and we’d wait, and I’d not be pregnant.  After Graham had his hernia surgery in June, we decided that we needed to get more organized.

So I started taking my temperature every morning.  And I’d keep track of my cervical mucous. And I’d take ovulation predictor tests. And we’d have timed sex.  And every month, we’d wait for my period.  Which inevitably came.  I’d read more about fertility, and I joined an online board and learned all the acronyms.

In early November, I went to an obgyn to get checked out.  He said that I probably wouldn’t have any trouble getting pregnant, but when I showed him my temperature charts, he thought that maybe my luteal phase was a little short.  He gave me a prescription for Clomid for three months and sent me on my way.

I was bitterly disappointed the first month.  And then just sad on the second.  The third, I thought something was wrong with me.  When my period came at the end of  January, I called my obgyn, and he recommended a test to see whether any of my tubes were blocked. So on February 7, I went in and had my perfectly formed uterus and very open fallopian tubes x-rayed. Everything looked normal.

Next up was Graham.  He went in for a sperm analysis two weeks after I had my test. It seemed like it took forever to get the results back. And when they got back on March 7, they weren’t great.  I’d spent enough time on fertility boards to know that they weren’t insurmountable, but it was beginning to look more and more like we were going to need help getting pregnant.  Graham immediately stopped putting his laptop on his lap, and he started taking more supplements to get his numbers better. In the meantime, he made an appointment with a urologist, but that wouldn’t be until the end of April.

I decided that I’d take this two month break to work on my luteal phase. It’d improved considerably when I was on Clomid.  It’d been about 8 or 9 days before, with a 25ish day cycle.  On Clomid, it was a 12-13 day luteal phase with a 28 day cycle.  So I took Vitex every day and started to go to acupuncture once a week.  My acupuncturist told me that I had low kidney energy / yang.  I also added vitamins b12 and b6 and coq10 to my supplement intake. Plus some herbal medicine from my acupuncturist.  And it seemed to work. Though my cycle was still 25 days long, my luteal phase was 11 days. The previous month it had been 9 days.

On March 23, I started a new cycle. This cycle would be complete before Graham’s urology appointment, so it was another throwaway cycle as far as conventional medicine was concerned. In addition, I was going to Mexico for a wedding right around the time of ovulation, so we might miss our window.

The cycle was weird.  We got Fusilli towards the beginning of it, and sleep was interrupted considerably because he had to go out so often in the middle of the night.  My temps were pretty high early in the cycle.  Then they fell to very low.  My OPK was positive around the time my cervical mucous got egg white, and we had sex.  I flew to Mexico, and my temps started to rise. Five days later, they started to rise some more.  It was confusing, because I wasn’t sure if the second set of temps meant that I’d just then ovulated, or if it was one of those triphastic shifts I’d heard about.

So I waited.  And my temperatures never went down.  I peed on a stick on day 25, the day before my period was supposed to come. Nothing.  I peed on a stick on day 26, the day my period was supposed to come. Nothing.  I peed on a stick today, my period a day late.  HOLY FUCK! I think that’s a line!!!

Graham and I studied the stick.  It’s very faint. Very very faint.  And it could be a chemical pregnancy.  But I think I’m pregnant.  And I think that we were able to do this pretty much on our own.  Graham is still going to his appointment next week.

But if it is true, if I am pregnant, we’re going to have one of the best Christmas presents ever.

And back to regularly scheduled programming

For a few days this week, I thought I was pregnant.

After much consideration, I went off the pill after my last packet was finished.  We figured that it’s probably time to start “trying”, whatever that means.  And we had no real concept of success or failure.  It wouldn’t be profound disappointment if we didn’t find ourselves expecting a baby, but it wouldn’t be unwelcome news either.

We had sex.  We had sex around the time I thought maybe I was ovulating.  I haven’t actually ovulated in six years, since August of 2005, so I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for.  I’ve been on the birth control pill since then.  I don’t remember what my body feels like during ovulation.  But I’m pretty sure that when we had sex, we were both at peak fertility.  It was pretty awesome sex. I’m really glad that we had sex.

So for the next few days, after the awesome sex, I started thinking about what the hell we’d done. What would we do if I were pregnant? What would I have to do to my wedding dress?  How could I possibly keep the first trimester to myself when there are all these parties with alcohol being thrown in my honor for the next three months?  When would I be able to tell? How soon before I should take a pregnancy test? How will we afford this? Who will take care of the baby? Will we still be able to go to Burning Man?

It sort of slipped my mind, though, after awhile, because life goes on, and I’m in the middle of planning a wedding, and I have tons of shit to do.

And so on Wednesday, ten days after the awesome sex (there’s been other sex, but not as significant, procreation-wise) I noticed that I was spotting.  Holy crap! I’ve never spotted before. Have I? My (birth control regulated) period isn’t due for another five days.  It can’t be my period. Can it?   To the internet!  So it turns out that spotting could mean that a blastocyst is implanting to the uterus, and the uterus is shedding itself of excess layers. OR it could mean a host of other things.

So I bought a home pregnancy kit, even though my period wasn’t due for another four days, and I peed on a stick, and it said I wasn’t pregnant. And I was sort of relieved and sort of not.  But then it said that it was only 56% accurate at this point in time. So I thought maybe I am, but I just don’t know it yet. And I peed on the stick in the evening, not early morning. And dear god. I just have to wait.

In the meantime, I went to my weekly check in with my nutritionist on Thursday and it turns out I lost four pounds since the previous week. And I really want to continue to lose weight.  And I think I have reached the magic formula (for me anyways) of exercise and diet to efficiently lose weight.  And I’ll have to stop if I’m pregnant. And I don’t want to stop, because I selfishly want to look as awesome as I can for the wedding.

And yesterday there was a little more spotting.

And today, I think my period came. Or else I’m miscarrying something that didn’t take, which happened to not take a day and a half earlier than my period normally comes.

At any rate, I’m bleeding, and I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant this month. Which is sort of a relief, but sort of not.  And we’ll continue to have awesome sex in the next few months. And hopefully, it’ll take.